D-List Olympics
Every now and then, a show comes along that is so spectacularly horrifying that it becomes an instant trash tv classic. The Surreal Life Fame Games is that show.
It takes a lot to be the biggest douche in the Surreal Life universe, but Jordan Knight took the title in the first episode. Not only did he spend the entire time he was in the house bitching and moaning about every single thing, but then he got a call saying his grandma died and he cried and left. That is legitimately sad and I feel sorry for him in that respect, but he’s like the boy who cried wolf. He cries and bitches about so much that when something really tragic does happen, you can’t destinguish whether it’s more important than the last trivial thing he was crying about. Frankly, it’s for the best because he’s a whiney little bitch and it’s great to see him out of the house. He was later replaced by Verne “pee in a corner” Troyer.
The first competition involved our favorite has-beens going head to head with each other in a battle over fan adoration. They were lined up in front of a bunch of random people off the street and the people were given a chance to take a picture with the celeb of their choice. Whoever got the most pictures won a prize and immunity and the three with the fewest pictures were sent to another competition. Rob “Vanilla Ice” Van Winkle killed the competition getting almost twice as many pictures as anyone else. If there was ever proof in his mind that doing The Surreal Life put him back on the map, this was it. Older people were asking for pictures with him because they remember him from back in the day, young girls wanted his picture because he’s hot, and others wanted his picture because he’s legendary. Without Rob, there would be no Eminem and no Kevin Federline. The fewest pictures went to Andrea Lowell (a Playboy chick no one’s ever heard of), Chyna Doll, and Troyer.
They were forced to compete in the second round of the elimination challenge, a game show type competition about celebrity gift bags. Chyna Doll and Troyer were eliminated in that round and sent off to the B-List section of the house. Now they’ll go head to head to see who is sent packing from the manison and kicked off the show.
I might have to watch this a zillion times and record it on a DVD because it’s like a dream come true. It’s as if we at Trashwire asked Santa for the ultimate d-list celebreality explosion and then it showed up under the tree on Christmas morning. If watching real people humiliate themselves on tv is good, then watching celebrities do it is excellent.
Accept no imitations, The Surreal Life Fame Games is the greatest celebreality show on tv. Be sure to tune in every Sunday and see who gets eliminated. You know we’ll be glued to the tv.
