Jen is dumber than Lindsay Lohan
For quite some time now, CBS has posted an official HoH Blog, written by the reigning HoH and published on eviction night. Usually, the blogs are about the game strategy that week, food competitions, playing for veto, and other BB-related personal memories. At the end, the HoH will sometimes give a shout out to some of their friends or family and thank everyone for watching.
Jen’s HoH blog, on the other hand, is more like those incoherent letters from Lindsay Lohan that appear in tabloids and on gossip sites.
She begins like this…
Hello…For starts this is so much fun to even be able to type…like you don’t even know. K so anyways. This week has been crazy, I am not sure if you have noticed but there has been a lot of yelling, talking, and just pure madness going on. I have for sure had the best week of all I have been able to wear a unitard all week without anyone judging me for it as well as having a blast figuring out how to make it next. My housemates have claimed that there will be a unitard fashion line created on my behalf, which is simply histarical if true. While I am writing this blog I am not sure as to what to say and I am not going to be proofing it or anything just so you all know.
I think it’s so funny that she needed to warn us about not proofing her blog, or that she needed to actually type out “like” and “K so anyways.”
She goes on to talk a little about the game, and then moves on to address her loved ones at home. This is where the blog gets hilarious.
I would also like to say happy birthday to my dad, who’s birthday is tomorrow…June 20…As well as I am so sorry that I was able to call you Mom on your birthday or to even tell you I was gone…:( Good thing I sent your present early :-). I would also like to thank you Kara for taking care of my life while I am gone.
:-) I would also like to thank you Jamie for getting my mail…hopefully…I know I kind of just mailed you my key and didn’t even ask. Also just so you know George I put automatic payments for all of the stable bills for the next three months and I then typed it up and put it by the printer…i hope that you have already found that so we are not double paying any bills. Also I miss all of you, I really do, I am having a lot of fun, but I still can’t wait to see you. Gigi, Nikko, Kyle, Andrew we will have to make a special trip when I get back and have a slumber party or something :-)….Don’t think I forgot about you Ronnie, you have to come out and visit so you can hang out with me and everyone else. Also If anyone could please just drive my car around the neighborhood for 5 minutes that would be great, the keys are in my car.
First, apparently she thinks it’s June. Then, when she’s talking about her friend who she asked to check her mail, she basically admits that she didn’t really prearrange anything and just mailed her key assuming it would be done. Next she writes out all the details of her various bill-paying arrangements and, like a kid with ADD, moves on to start talking about her friends.
The real kicker is when she asks “anyone” to drive her car around and basically lets millions of people on the internet know that her keys are right in the car. You know, just in case someone wants to steal it while she’s locked in the BB house.
She writes a small section addressing Carol and then talks about the other people in the house…
Joe if you go home this week and read the message boards, which I am sure you will, I have been figuring out ever angle for you to stay and it just isn’t good enough, Evel if you are reading this…phew..thank everyone you are not here, and stop talking about everyone you “know” and stop “name dropping” its seriously out of control, I am sure the the show has a montage count of how many names you have dropped by now…hahaha. Anyhow. Just to let everyone know this is so so much fun and even just being here has been a blast and I truly don’t care if I win in the end and It think that me getting 2nd is better then me getting 1st
After reading her little comments about Dick, it makes his HoH victory tonight even sweeter!
Lastly, she shouts out her website and myspace page, asking everyone to go add her as a friend.
also if you want to be my myspace friend you can find the link from my website www.JenJohnsonModel.com..its linked to the bottom of the first page…and I have my best friend Kara running it for me
She includes a few more sentences about how she loves typing, even though she has nothing to write about, and makes a remark about her “sexy unitard”.
I half expected her to sign it “Be Adequite” like Lindsay Lohan and then go take some pictures holding a knife to her friend’s throat or flashing her vagina while getting out of a car.
It’s frightening that Jen is in charge of someone’s children.