If you have not seen this movie, do yourself a favor and see it immediately! There are tons of clips on YouTube (just search Tommy Wiseau or The Room) and it’s available on Amazon.

Universal has attached Gore Verbinski to develop “Clue,” a live-action murder mystery based on the Hasbro board game that he would direct.
[...]
“Clue” is one of the few board games to surpass $1 billion in sales, in more than 50 markets. It was developed in England by a retired legal clerk named Anthony Pratt during WWII and released in 1948.

A previous film version was released in 1985.

I remember the “previous film version” and it was awesome! I have a general rule that Hollywood should never re-make anything starring Tim Curry because there is simply no way to top his performances. Just look at Rocky Horror, which is also supposedly being remade. I can’t even imagine anyone else playing Dr. Frank-N-Furter–seriously, my mind can’t conceive of it!

But that’s not the only thing wrong with this trend. The article also said this:

At Universal, Hasbro hatched “Stretch Armstrong,” which just set Steve Oedekerk as writer; the Ridley Scott-directed “Monopoly”; “Candyland,” which Etan Cohen (“Tropic Thunder”) is writing for Kevin Lima to direct; and “Ouija,” which is being produced by Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes banner.

Are we so void of ideas that we are throwing millions of dollars into bringing “Candyland” to the big screen?! And when I read that Michael Bay was involved in making “Ouija”, I just felt like I was watching a Whitest Kids sketch.

Once the brilliant young newcomer, Shyamalan’s talent seems to have completely dissipated, leaving only ego and self-importance. Like the Kanye West of cinema, he seems to believe that every film he’s made since 1999’s The Sixth Sense is the greatest thing ever to grace the screen and those who criticize or question his work are simply unworthy of his genius…. [More...]

read more | digg story

read more | digg story

Tommy Wiseau, the “genius” behind The Room, is back with another project.

This time, he stars as Charlie in The Neighbors, a sitcom which is described on the official website as, “a sitcom consisting of relationship between a group of neighbors who live in an apartment building.”

The plot synopsis goes on to say this:

The lead character is Charlie, the manager of the building. The tenants are a diverse group of presonality of different ages and backgrounds constantly bringing their problems to Charlie and his secretary girlfiend Bebe. The character of Princess Penelope create commotion by seeing the ghost of her uncle Prince Charles. It is a fresh humorous look at human behavioe with different view points including plenty of surprises. The demographic is all inclusive.

Trashwire readers might remember Wiseau from his previous film, The Room, which we declared the Best of the Worst a few years ago.

This new project looks to be even worse! Check out the trailer online here: http://theneighborssitcom.com/neighborsone.mov.

The elegant little ballad continues as Kelly gives us unnecessary details like the play-by-play of Sylvester smoking and we reveal that Twan got busted fro driving trunk with Tina and Roxanne in the car and drugs in the trunk. There’s even a super low budget version of a helicopter chase.

At the end of chapter 15, we learn that Twan got Tina pregnant at the time of his arrest…..

This rolls right into chapter 16 where we get some more totally stupid back story about the relationship between Twan and Tina. We also get to see Tina’s weird ass facial ticks that she got because “her pimp hit her in her eye”. I shit you not, that is the actual line!

After a whole chapter without an ignorant reveal, what could this chapter’s big mystery be? Well, this may shock any of you who didn’t see it coming from the second you saw Roxanne but…. Roxanne is Tina’s lesbian lover.

Baby daddy drama… lesbian lovers… it really is Jerry Springer: The Musical!

Moving on to chapter 17, Sylvester pulls a gun on everyone for no reason and it appears there’s a moment when R. Kelly just totally ran out of lyrics and everyone just sits there silently as if they’re trying to remember their lines. And, well, uh, that’s pretty much all of chapter 17. Just Sylvester pulling a gun and then he and Twan leaving the diner.

In chapter 18, which begins with a intro where R. Kelly remarks that he wishes some women were there with him watching instead of that white dude from IFC, the Twan/Sylvester story just rolls on.

Twan and Sylvester are driving away from the gun-pointing, lesbian-twist-revealing diner when Gwen calls. Unfortunately, they must not have Verizon because “the phone’s static-ing”. Not only does Kelly describe the bad reception as the phone “staticing” but he continues to sing that line three of four times in a row. Then we get “Can you hear me now?” a couple times.

Tired of that story? Well you’re in luck because we inexplicably jump to a church where everyone’s favorite gay pastor, Rufus is hanging out with Reverend Mosley James Evans and the Peace Within Choir. Yeah, that’s right. Reverend Mosley James Evans and the Peace Within Choir. And in case you weren’t horrified enough, Kelly voices the Reverend and the entire choir of about 50 people.

But that’s not what’s important about this story. The key to this chapter is the intimate phone conversation that takes place between Chuck and Rufus as they discuss their whole love triangle. It seems that Rufus kind of wants to get back together with Cathy, his wife, and naturally this upsets Chuck.

There’s even more cellphone drama (why is this a recurring theme?!) and a sort of confrontation… I guess… between Rufus and Chuck where Chuck threatens to go to the press about Rufus’ homosexuality.

At the end of that chapter, Chuck reveals that he is calling Rufus from the hospital.

Chapter 19 also takes place in the church, with Kelly starting to go full-out Eddie Murphy and playing several characters who interact with each other. This includes a pimp named Lucious and the Reverend. Also in this chapter, it seems like Kelly completely gives up the rhyme scheme and just starts singing sentences that don’t have any rhythm at all.

I can’t even wrap my mind around what’s probably coming next… but mark my words if Chuck is in the hospital because he had AIDS, this thing will have reached critical trash mass. It will have officially crossed the event horizon of horrible. Knowing the way Kelly writes totally stereotypical and so-stupid-it’s-offensive lyrics, I just feel like that’s where this thing is headed.

We’ll have to see.

Every day, IFC.com is posting new episodes of Trapped in the Closet. While I don’t have time to cover them all, I’m going to try to keep up with R.Kelly’s Jerry-Springer-like saga here on the blog.

The latest chapter can be found here:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1126121795/ bclid1127690699/bctid1137812253

In this chapter, Sylvester conducts a secret meeting with a blonde-wig-wearing Cathy in a restaurant. At the meeting, it is revealed that their “affair” was actually Cathy’s attempt to catch her husband Rufus cheating.

At least I think that’s what’s revealed. Frankly, the whole thing is getting so crazy (people getting shot, midgets getting fat southern girls pregnant, cell phones ringing, etc.) that it’s reached the next level of bizarre.

Anyway, while Sylvester is meeting with Cathy, he remarks that the waitress looks familiar. People who remember the first run of this “epic” tale will remember that Gwendolyn (Sylvester’s wife) has a friend named Tina who is also friends with another girl named Roxanne. Sylvester says he doesn’t know Tina, but would “probably know her if I’d seen her”. Well, get ready for this folks… the waitress is Tina! See what R. Kelly did there? He brought the whole story around again. He’s just so clever. I think, in his mind, he’s pretty sure he deserves an Oscar for this.

Soon, Sylvester realizes who the waitress is, with a little help from Twan (Gwen’s brother) and a gold-toothed cell phone detective. Just remember, I’m not making this up. Sylvester goes to confront the waitress and she suddenly flips out and points a broken bottle at him as the infamous Roxanne emerges from the kitchen of the restaurant with a frying pan proclaiming that she knows Tae-bo. Again, I’m not making this up.

I can only imagine the ignorant shit that will follow in chapter 15. $50 says Roxanne and Tina are secretly lesbian lovers. Look for that tomorrow on ifc.com. Stay tuned to the Trashwire Blog for more coverage.

Transformers is actually less than meets they eye
by Wil Chinchilla
July 20, 2007
Those of you who were fans of the animated series could end up just as disappointed as I was by Michael Bay’s live-action version of Transformers. It wasn’t necessarily a bad film but it certainly wasn’t as great as all the hype made it out to be.

Check it out!