First, I am thanking Ivan Grozny for trying to help make truce. But is not possible, not after horrifying events of last night! So, it is maybe 9 o’clock, maybe 9:05 o’clock, maybe even as late as 9:10. But not 9:15, I am sure. Most probably 9:05. I am just finished with watching “Law and Order”, and it was one of the good ones and one I had only seen 8 times. The one where they find dead body in Tilt-A-Whirl. And bad man is given justice. You know that one? It is good, yes? So after show I am thinking to eat a little bite of something but sheep cheese is making me think of Baba Anyeska and I am not wanting to get more homesick so I go to Ernesto’s Tacos on corner of 5th and Main. I can walk from my flat so is most convenient. I order three rolled tacos. Nice Mr. Velazquez wink at me and ask “With guacamole?†for he is knowing how much I am loving it. “Oh, yes!â€, I cry. But after looking in purse I am dejected to find only enough for tacos. Not for guacamole. “Don’t worry, it’s on me†says Mr. Velazquez. I am happiest girl right then! Walking home was like dream come true. Then, as I come around corner I see someone standing on my stoop! Who could it be at 9:20 or 9:25 in the night? Who? And then I see who it is. Pavla Nimkova, come to answer my serving! She has tiny boom box and with flick of cruel finger she is starting Gypsy Music! And not just any Gypsy Music, but Gypsy CURSE Music! She is doing the Dance of the Gypsy Curse on my stoop. Oh, I am so frightened! Baba Anyeska is once knowing a woman in Priseltsi who was served Dance of the Gypsy Curse. A week later, a carrot is growing out of her left ear! And now I am thinking I do not want a carrot to grow out of my ear! I am in my head hearing taunts of neighborhood children…Glass Eye!….Carrot Ear!……GLASS EYE!…..CARROT EAR!…..
GLASSEYECARROTEAR! GLASSEYECARROTEAR!!!!!!
Suddenly, I am coming awake a few minutes later, laying on sidewalk with face in tacos. Oh, my guacamole! So lovingly made by Mr. Velazquez! I hear a siren. Police are coming! But Pavla Nimkova is nowhere. Tiny boombox is nowhere. Gone as if by magic.
Police interview me and ask if I want “Restraining Orderâ€. Yes, Restrain Her! Restrain Lying Cow Pavla Nimkova!