What Your Wireless Network Says About You

In these days of broadband internet, wireless networks are more and more common as people look for ways to connect on-the-go. Nearly every laptop these days had a built in wireless card and most of us probably use wireless networks around our house, the office, or at school. When setting up a network , most people tend to go with a generic name or just leave the default name of their wireless router. As wireless security became more of an issue, people began getting more creative with their network names and making sure that their internet connection remained private. If you’re like me and you live in an apartment building where nearly everyone uses wireless internet, you can find out a lot about your neighbors from the names they give their networks.

I discovered this phenomenon the other day when I had to reset my router and my computer asked me if I wanted to connect to another network. The computer trying to auto-connect me wasn’t the weird part, it was that it offered to connect me to an open network called “Bitchy McBitch.” There was something that was just so funny to me about seeing a little alert window on my screen saying, “None of your preferred networks are available. Would you like to connect to the open network Bitchy McBitch?” I clicked the little no button, but was intrigued by what other networks might be available in my building.

The names ranged from simple, like “Kristen’s net” or “Jason” to more complex, but still straightforward names like “6th Floor Conference Room” and “Apartment Home”. Then I noticed a slew of more creative names starting with “Go Rockies”, “Vote 4 Pedro” and “Pimp Daddy”. Clearly my neighbors, all primarily younger people, were fans of the Colorado Rockies, Napoleon Dynamite and pimping. Still, I wondered, what could top Bitchy McBitch for best wireless name?

As I glanced down the list, I noticed one particularly interesting network. Someone in my building had bought a wireless router, completed the set up wizard, and titled their network “Balls in Pantyhose”. I was instantly curious about the person who owned the “Balls in Pantyhose” network. I’m assuming it was a guy, but I suppose it could have just as easily been a woman. Still, I tried to picture what this person must be like. Was he really into balls in pantyhose? Was it just some inside joke he shared with his buds? Did the phrase have some special meaning for him? So many questions arose from this very unique network name.

It made me start to think about the entire evolution of technology up to this point. Engineers and scientists had been working for decades, creating computer technology to advance society, with hopes of grandeur about curing disease and connecting distant nations. Then there was this guy who named his network “Balls in Pantyhose.”

Ah, the future is now!