10 reasons I love ‘American Horror Story’

FX’s American Horror Story is by far one of the most creative, original and twisted new shows on TV. With fascinating characters and surprising twists and turns, it’s one of the few shows that dares to venture out from the standard TV formula. Season one kept me guessing every week and often left me with my jaw on the floor in shock. Here are a few of my favorite things about this brilliant show, in no particular order. WARNING: Major spoilers if you haven’t seen the show!

Ben Harmon’s tears

Whether it was crying about his daughter growing distant from him, his wife wanting to divorce him, or just a good post-masturbation sob, Dylan McDermott gave us the most emotionally damaged shrink on TV. His tears have been immortalized in internet meme history with a funny blog called Reasons to Cry Like Ben Harmon.

Larry killing Hayden

I think Kate Mara is a great actress, so great that I couldn’t stand Hayden. Watching Larry (Dennis O’Hare) smack that whiney bitch in the head with a shovel was a delight. Unfortunately, it meant she’d return as an even more annoying ghost fueled by vengeance and horniness.

“Violate”

Fangirls and shippers have been all about the Tate/Violet romance since day one. Dubbed Violate by the fans, this couple has kept teenage girls enthralled all over the internet. There are zillions of Tumblr blogs dedicated to the doomed lovers and probably even more blogs dedicated to Tate/Violet fan fiction. The most amazing (and totally horrifying) thing about Violate “shippers” is the way they love such a despicable character. Even AHS creator Ryan Murphy has said that Tate is the true monster of the show. I understand thinking Peters is hot, but wanting to date Tate Langdon? He killed a bunch of people and raped and knocked up his girlfriend’s mom, which eventually lead to her death when she gave birth to the anti-Christ, yet teenage fangirls everywhere are still swooning that they want a boyfriend just like him.

The Dead Breakfast Club

A long time ago, golden boy Tate killed a whole bunch of people in a school shooting that predates Columbine. On Halloween, when the dead can walk freely, the bloodied spirits of a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal decide to confront their killer.

Chad’s raised eyebrow

Proving he could out sass even Constance herself, Zachary Quinto was serving snarky realness as Chad, one half of the gay couple who mysteriously died in the house before the Harmons moved in. Quinto’s eyebrows deserve an Emmy all on their own.

Young and old Moira

We first meet Moira as creepy old woman (Frances Conroy) who forces her way into a housekeeping job with the Harmons. Next thing we know, she’s a creepy young woman (Alexandra Breckenridge) who wants nothing more than to seduce Ben like something out of an old porno. What does she have up her sleeve and will Ben ever realize that those tits he’s been checking out actually belong to a wrinkly old lady?

Addie’s “Bad Girl Closet”

Adelaide (Jamie Brewer) was introduced in the first episode as a kid warning people that they’ll most likely be murdered in the house, but she was much more than the cliche spooky girl with a connection to the supernatural. Addie was weird and her sneaking into the Harmon’s house was creepy, but as we got to know her, we came to love her. That’s why it was so disturbing when Constance locked her in the bizarre closet full of mirrors so she could get back to banging her hot younger boyfriend.

The use of “bullshit”

This could spawn a drinking game that might land participants in the hospital. Go through each episode and count how many times the word “bullshit” is used, particularly by Violet. Thank god this show was on cable. Can you imagine this on a boring network where all the characters tell each other they’re full of bologna instead?

Constance’s racism

Jessica Lange won a Golden Globe for her portrayal Constance, the Harmon family’s bat shit crazy neighbor. When she’s not feeding her neighbor raw organs or locking her Down Syndrome daughter in the “bad girl closet”, she’s smoking a cigarette and sending her boyfriend down to the “Ko-rean” to go pick up more chocolate chips.

The Rubber Man is revealed

While some of us guessed the identity of the infamous Rubber Man prior to episode eight when we finally learned his true identity, it was still a shocking moment. Tate (Evan Peters) seemed like such a sweet, sensitive boy. He charmed both Violet (Taissa Farmiga) and the audience with Ted-Bundy-like ease and we were only hoping he wasn’t really the latex wearing homicidal rapist. Alas, he was and seeing him take off that mask in the bathroom mirror was one of the most “holy shit!” moments on TV.

There are so many things I love about this show that it was really hard to narrow them down into this short list. Honorable mentions to Squeaky Fromme and the gang from the Murder House episode, Billie the psychic’s acrylic nails and the way Nora Montgomery (Lily Rabe) says “Chaaarles!” when she criticized her husband.