Rock the Cradle is like heroin

Chloe Lattanzi and Jesse Blaze Snider of MTV’s ‘Rock the Cradle’I have a very dangerous addiction to MTV’s Rock the Cradle, the American Idol style show where the children of music stars compete for viewer votes. I would compare this to a drug addiction because, while it’s probably destroying my brain to watch this trash-tastic series, I just can’t stop tuning in. It’s the ultimate guilty pleasure!

For those who haven’t heard of the show, it features a roster of celeb spawn including Crosby Loggins, son of Kenny Loggins, Jesse Blaze Snider, son of Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider, and Chloe Lattanzi, daughter of Olivia Newton-John. Already eliminated from the competition were Jesse Money, A‘Keiba Burell Hammer, Lil’ B. Sure, Landon Brown, Lara Johnston and Lucy Walsh.

On last night’s episode, the final three were chosen and I could not have been happier with the results. You see, while there are some contestants who have genuine talent, like Johnston and Loggins, I was rooting for those who were the most entertaining. While Loggins is probably the most musically skilled, it was Lattanzi and Snider who really stole my heart.

Jesse Blaze Snider has never worn a shirtSnider is simply captivating. Aside from the fact that he hasn’t worn a full shirt for the entire season, he is a great contrast to the mellow, down to earth (but kinda boring) Loggins. He’s arrogant, loud, obnoxious, and extremely competitive. He represents everything that is wrong with the music scene, and probably America’s youth as well…. but, for some reason, I dig it. I was joking the other day that I hated him so much that it came back around and I ended up wanting to make out with him. Apparently the judges and voters agree with me, because he keeps soaring into the next round.

Now, Mr. Hard Tasty Washboard Abs isn’t the only reason I’m psyched about the final three. I can’t get enough of my other favorite sideshow attraction, the lovely Ms. Lattanzi. Her face is like some kind of melted wax figure and, like a Rubik’s Cube, I keep trying to solve the mystery of how it got so mixed up. She’s young, only in her twenties, yet she looks like she’s had more surgery than Joan Rivers or the infamous Cat Lady. Lattanzi would be the prom queen of VotefortheWorst if they cared about this show. Even the house band seems to loathe her, often shooting her dirty looks or rolling their eyes at her during rehearsal. Still, something about her makes you pull for her and want her to advance to the next round.

Chloe Lattanzi performs “Toxic” by Britney SpearsLast night’s episode left me literally speechless when Lattanzi retreated to her father’s tipi to chant and play didgeridoo to mentally prepare for the competition. She also burst into tears when judge Larry Rudolph made her sing a song by his former artist, Britney Spears. She is so fascinatingly unstable that it becomes almost endearing and it’s impossible to look away.

I’m very excited to see if the voters will chose Loggins to win or weather they’ll be distracted by the flash factor of Snider or the Sylvia Plath darkness of Lattanzi. While I know Loggins deserves to win, I can’t help but root for my two favorite contestants and hope that the final episode is about entertainment over talent.

Be sure to catch the finale of Rock the Cradle Thursday at 10pm on MTV or check out rockthecradle.mtv.com to watch performances and full episodes. This show is a must see for any trash tv fan!

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Alexis Gentry

Alexis Gentry is the creator and editor of Trashwire.com. She has been called a “dynamic, talented and unique voice in pop culture” by Ben Lyons of E! and, with her strong fascination with entertainment and penchant for writing, it’s not hard to see why.

15 Responses

  1. Tim Allik says:

    Among his many talents, Jesse Blaze Snider hosts his own live web call-in show on TalkShoe each week.

    Jesse’s show airs Sunday nights on TalkShoe – http://www.talkshoe.com – at 10 p.m.

    Jesse interviewed Dee Snider on April 19th. In the interview, Dee reveals Jesse’s most embarassing childhood moment and talks frankly about whether the rock dad’s big hair was a wig or not.

    The show is archived on TalkShoe’s website for free streaming or download.

    Or ask Jesse your own questions live, in real-time, this Sunday night at 10 p.m.

  2. lilryan says:

    i’m glad yo love the show so much!! lol

    i’ve been working on it for awhile…so i’m glad to know that you can’t get enough 🙂

  3. Caige says:

    Okay all, first yes this show is a damn drug, pulling us in with shacking excitement each week.

    Now lets talk about Jesse for a minute, This kid is a damn mommas boy, he can’t even dress himself. I was a huge fan of Twisted Sister, Now I have tossed all there music and erased it from my iphone. Dee’s son has turned me of from rock and I will never listen to it again unless they do a remake of We’re not gonna take it to match the girly fairies they are….

    She’s not gonna take it
    no

    She’s not gonna take it

    any more

    he”s got no right to dress him self

    he”s a mommas boy……

    no jesse can:t do it

    he”s a mommas boy

    he cant dress him self any more

    if thats jess’s best it won”t do

    mommas gotta dress you

  4. pam says:

    OMGosh i know!

    i’ve missed it the last week or so, i hope Jessie (the guy not girl) is still on there!

    xoxo pam, kelli’s mom

  5. Jay says:

    I, too, am trying to figure out poor Chloe’s facial configuration. None of the parts match and I’d say that she reminds me of a Mrs. Potato Head that one can mold and remold at will; however, Rumer Willis–one of People Magazine’s “most beautiful people”!–will always be my wittle tater head.

  6. Alexis Gentry says:

    So true. Rumer is the original freaky looking celeb child.

  7. Caige says:

    Hey both jesse’s on that show are girls….
    And yes Jesse Snider is the Freaky looking celeb child.
    what a woman smashing those guitars. how do you think his dad will take it when he finds out his son is gay?

  8. Mrs. Jesse Blaze Snider says:

    Jesse Blaze Snider is the hottest guy I’ve ever seen!

  9. cradlewillrock says:

    Crosby Loggins is the only one left with “real” talent- what do you think?

  10. Olivia says:

    Jay:
    Chloe looks more like my little sisters Bratz doll then a potato head but you’re close

  11. Blarf says:

    jesse is not a mommas boy tht gurl is just jeulous shes just RUDE!

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