Trapped in the Closet – Chapter 14

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Every day, IFC.com is posting new episodes of Trapped in the Closet. While I don’t have time to cover them all, I’m going to try to keep up with R.Kelly’s Jerry-Springer-like saga here on the blog.

The latest chapter can be found here:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1126121795/ bclid1127690699/bctid1137812253

In this chapter, Sylvester conducts a secret meeting with a blonde-wig-wearing Cathy in a restaurant. At the meeting, it is revealed that their “affair” was actually Cathy’s attempt to catch her husband Rufus cheating.

At least I think that’s what’s revealed. Frankly, the whole thing is getting so crazy (people getting shot, midgets getting fat southern girls pregnant, cell phones ringing, etc.) that it’s reached the next level of bizarre.

Anyway, while Sylvester is meeting with Cathy, he remarks that the waitress looks familiar. People who remember the first run of this “epic” tale will remember that Gwendolyn (Sylvester’s wife) has a friend named Tina who is also friends with another girl named Roxanne. Sylvester says he doesn’t know Tina, but would “probably know her if I’d seen her”. Well, get ready for this folks… the waitress is Tina! See what R. Kelly did there? He brought the whole story around again. He’s just so clever. I think, in his mind, he’s pretty sure he deserves an Oscar for this.

Soon, Sylvester realizes who the waitress is, with a little help from Twan (Gwen’s brother) and a gold-toothed cell phone detective. Just remember, I’m not making this up. Sylvester goes to confront the waitress and she suddenly flips out and points a broken bottle at him as the infamous Roxanne emerges from the kitchen of the restaurant with a frying pan proclaiming that she knows Tae-bo. Again, I’m not making this up.

I can only imagine the ignorant shit that will follow in chapter 15. $50 says Roxanne and Tina are secretly lesbian lovers. Look for that tomorrow on ifc.com. Stay tuned to the Trashwire Blog for more coverage.