The Oscars: Why Do I Care?

Whenever anyone mentions the Oscars and their sponsoring organization, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS), there are two questions that run through my ever-questioning mind. One question being what is The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, and another that asks itself, with a great level of volume, why should I use their opinions to evaluate the quality of a film?

As far as I see the AMPAS have become the mafia of the American film industry. What they say goes. They amassed as an organization in early 1927, with the goal of “the advancement of the arts and sciences of motion pictures.” The first annual “self-congratulatory” Academy Awards (colloquially dubbed the Oscars) took place in May of 1929. Its purpose was to “honor” the achievements in filmmaking for those past two years. Preparations must have proceeded quickly with only the original 36 members taking part in the voting process.

Since the early years, membership has swelled to 6,000 and voting techniques have become shrouded in such secrecy that they rival the papacy. The public is no longer given the names of those who belong to the organization, and thus who is actually casting judgment/voting.

The yearly spectacle has become the benchmark many use to assess the art of filmmaking. Although the members are all involved in the industry in some capacity, I still question the legitimacy of not knowing who is passing judgment and telling the public what constitutes a well-made film. I also question the larger issue of quantifying an art form, which in itself is subjective, by the number of votes received. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder doesn’t that also pertain to the film viewer?

If the AMPAS are likened to organized criminals, it is a crime how they have taken an art form and passed forced judgments upon it.

With so many categories with which a film is judged, and new ones being added as technology changes I often wonder why no one ever mentions Craft Services. It has been said that “you are what you eat”, so a well-balanced meal could be a contributing factor on performance both for the actors and the crew alike. A diet filled with heavy carbohydrates, and sugars would send the set crashing at the end of the day and their talent plummeting. This category has more legitimacy than the one for ‘Best Title Design’ that was proposed, and rejected by the Board of Governors in 1999.

With this year’s Oscars looming ahead on the horizon like an oppressive black cloud, I can’t help but wish that the WGA (Writers Guild of America) had continued their strike just a tad longer. It does seem ironic that although the AMPAS claim they do not “promote economic, labor, or political matters”, the WGA strike was broken before it could irrevocably damage this year’s ceremony of bloated egotism and pomp. I wonder if the organizations president Sid Ganis took a page out of Don Corleone’s book, and gave the leaders of the WGA “…an offer they can’t refuse”.

I would have loved to see a press conference, such as was instituted by the Golden Globes earlier in the season; something quick painless and soon forgotten along with the supposed “winners”. It would have also been priceless to have an awards show where the nominees and winners actually speak for themselves. If their acceptance speeches are any indication, most are as eloquent as squawking geese. These soliloquies however are always the most entertaining portion of the evening. The winners often stumble their way onto the stage, where they thank “The Academy” of individuals they don’t know, break into tears, praise God for their fortunes, make an inappropriate comment or two, spew off a list of names only God knows who they are, and give the stuttered ramblings of people who should not speak in public; there is a reason they live by a script.

As Robin said in Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993) “I lost. I lost? Wait a second; I’m not supposed to lose. Let me see the script.” This quote could also allude to the best acting that is seen all year. That is the performances that take place during the actual ceremony. When the ever gracious losers pretend not to be burning up inside during a live broadcast. They know the cameras have zoomed into their faces as they are told they aren’t the most popular. It’s almost as if they are announcing the title of prom king/queen of Hollywood. Luckily for the rest of the audience, no one has pulled a Carrie and caused brutal mayhem at the height of their disappointment.

Aside from the acceptance speeches that are sure to entertain every year, the one upside to the three-ring circus this year is that Jon Stewart gets yet another platform to entertain us with his humorous political rhetoric. Personally I don’t care what people on the red carpet are wearing, since I will never be wearing the hideous sacks so often associated with high fashion. Why would I care to hear about the fancy soiree that I wasn’t invited too, or what type of champagne they are serving at the Governors Ball?

There is much more to be said about other facets of such a popular, and divisive honoring, of an important cultural and global art form. A perfect way to sum up my feelings on the Oscars that blacken the horizon is to quote an Academy Award winning film by saying: “quite frankly my dear I don’t give a damn”.